Of Unicorn pee and Shopping carts

Doesn't anyone think of the innocent?

I have fallen victim to parking lot rage.   Every time I visit a certain Mart of the Wals (or any other grocery store for that matter) I find that I hate humanity as a species.  I lose all hope for mankind to make any kind of progress.  Why?  Shopping carts.  These lazy ass people will leave them all over the parking lot, some park them in a space perhaps 3 feet from a cart return.  When I see this happen, I go into a rage in my cute little toaster oven of a Scion XB.  “How can you BE so lazy?  How hard is it to walk 2, 10, even 20 feet to put the cart in the return?!!!!!@!!!!!!! Mutha F#$%kers”……. yes, I have that much rage about it.  I could also do a whole other post on the shopping trip that ensues after the parking lot rage…  More raging will happen if a car is stopped in the middle of the lot waiting on a space close to the building..  I am one of those people who will take the first space I see, even if it is in the extreme back of the parking lot.  I think “hey, I could use a little walk… and I wouldn’t want to have to keep people waiting behind me while that person with a cart full of groceries loads their car, politely puts their cart in the return and tries to get out of the space with this fat ass behind them who should have parked where i parked JUST for the walk……”  (gulp….. Breathe….. Exhale…. Center…..)

Um……….. so……. On a better note:

If unicorns fart rainbows and poop Skittles… their pee would be Cherry Dr. Pepper.  Yes people, Cherry Dr. Pepper is the elixir of the gods.  I would mainline that shit.

that is all


2 Responses to “Of Unicorn pee and Shopping carts”

  1. AutumnRising Says:

    Oh My God!! I feel the exact same way about your parking lot rage! Damn those people. It drives me insane every time a cart is just sittin there in the way. Why can’t people just take the extra time to put them back in their proper place. I mean as soon as the customer enters the store, at their convenience of course, the carts are right there for them. How would they like it if they parked and came into the store and to their amazement….no carts. They’d have to march their asses out into the middle of the parking lot and find their own cart. I’d say that would be justice.

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