Archive for the Friends Category

Hatred and Faith

Posted in Family, Friends, Ranting with tags , , , , , on June 28, 2011 by swinglizrd

This past week has been full of things that have made me angry and sad.  There have been some things that made me sick to my stomach, and things that had me pacing around the house trying to control the rage that wanted to bubble out of me.  I have wanted to scream at people I don’t even know.

What started it all was the death of Jackass and Viva La Bam star Ryan Dunn.  I read the article when I woke up that morning and i was sad.  I felt that the world had lost a very funny and interesting person.  I am always grieved by death.  We all should be.  I was moved to comment on the article and simply stated “How sad!  RIP Ryan.”  Over the course of that day my comment was flooded with replies to the tune of “SAD?  He was a drunk!”  and “Good riddance!”…  I responded to all the commenters by saying that “yes, it is sad when any person dies.  We all make our mistakes and live with the consequences.  He was no different from any of us.”  (paraphrased, but you get the point.)  Some commenters were truly saddened and some were putting hate all over that message board.  This incident was the first that made me feel nauseous.

A few days later, we get the news that New York has legalized gay marriage!  What a win! I felt so happy for all my LGBT friends in NY!   But of course,  the bashing and hate spewing began.  *I really need to NOT read comments on articles.  It only makes me doubt humanity…*  Even with all the disgusting hatred lurking around the internet, it didn’t dampen the spirits of the people who had won a bit more equality.

Finally a couple of days ago, an exchange happened on Facebook that had me ill and shaking with rage.   A friend of mine posted a quote that they thought was funny.  One of their family members decided it was a good time to blast my friend and their spouse for the supposed “non christian” way they lived.  the family member said the spouse was blasphemous,  and again I saw hate spewing forth onto the internet.  I defended my friend to the best of my ability as did other friends of theirs.

Now, let me share with you my thoughts about all of this.

I am a Christian.  I believe in God.  I believe in Jesus Christ.

I believe in Love.

I believe that love is the most important tenet of being a christian.  I think that christians that use hatred, such as Westboro Baptist Church, are sickening.  They make a mockery of the very faith they proclaim to follow.  There are also the lower key people who put that hatred into “concern” for your spiritual well-being.  They try to fit you and your faith into the little box THEY feel is the right way.  That to me is not love.  It is very hard for me to write this and think logically right now.  I want to lump all the fundamentalist right-wing conservatives into their little box and fling them into the ocean.. But that is not love.

We all have the right to believe what we want to believe.  I know a lot of the people I grew up with and went to school with would debate with me all day long about my support of my LGBT friends.  A lot of people would tell me that these people are going to hell.

No, they are not.  I appreciate what they believe, but I believe differently.

Folks, let me tell you, God is entirely too big for the box we put him in.  With all the denominations believing THEIR way of faith is correct, with all the separate religions believing THEIR way of faith is correct,  we cannot possibly know.  Now is the point where, the peanut gallery directs me to scripture.  Trust me.  I’ve read it.  Trust me when I say, I’ve done my homework.  Everything I have learned in my life has led me to this point.

I will not be a BLIND follower.

I will put that scripture up to studies of history, science, archeology and the like to see how the scripture holds.

The internet is a wonderful thing.  Research is made easier, we can connect all across the globe with friends, family and even complete strangers.  I love the internet.  But as i demonstrated earlier, the internet has made it easier to put hatred out there.  We sit here anonymous behind our keyboards, so very willing to blast our belief system into other people’s homes.  This is a double-edged sword though.  We also get inundated with other people’s belief systems.  The internet is a tool though.  We must use it wisely.

If there are comments to be made on this blog, please feel free.  I will exercise my right of the delete button if things get out of hand.  I want people to debate, I want minds to be open.  I want us to examine why we believe what we believe.  I just ask that you keep things civil.  Respect and love each other, even if we do not agree.

Love as thou wilt my friends,



Stuck in the 90’s with you!

Posted in BLARG!!!, Friends, Music, Random shit, Ranting, Self indulgent Tripe with tags , , , , , , on June 15, 2011 by swinglizrd

Recently I have been remembering my highschool days.  Ah those awkward gawky years where you think everyone else thinks you are a big dork, and in reality, everyone thinks you are actually pretty cool.  These memories are brought about in part by the creation of a new Facebook group for my graduating class (very small highschool 53 people in my senior class… yeah) , by randomly conversing on Twitter with one of my favorite actors Ethan Embry (@Childactor), and because of the Facebook group, really reconnecting with some of the people who I loved in highschool.

So I have been thinking about some of my favorite movies ,books, and music from the 90’s.  Highschool for me was 1993-1997 soooo here we goooo!

Empire Records.  I was IN LOVE with this movie.  I was right to love it.  It has incredible people.. Ethan Embry, Liv Tyler, Johnny Whitworth, Renee Zellweger, Anthony Lapaglia, Debi Mazar, Maxwell Caulfield… *hope all names were spelled right*  The music was fantastic, the feel was incredibly fun and the issues it dealt with you really felt connected with.  A great movie for us teens in 1995.

Now there are many more movies I loved, but I feel this one embodied that time the best.. at least it did for me!

Onto music…

I was into soo many different things and had such wacky tastes that I couldn’t even begin to post everything I loved..  Smashing Pumpkins, The Pixies, Poe, Nirvana,  Blind Melon.. the list could go ON and ON…  So to get you in that 90’s mood.. here are a couple of my favorite videos!

Now as for books.. Highschool is where is discovered my beloved Anne Rice.  Interview and The Vampire Lestat immersed me in this incredibly lush world full of beautiful bloodsuckers.  To this day I can pick up any one of her Vampire Chronicles or Mayfair Witches books and be completely enraptured at the level of detail and beauty that she has put into these novels.  I loved the movie version of Interview, and the less I say about the movie “based” on Queen of the Damned the better.  But Mrs. Rice changed my thinking about the world.  Her words gave me a new vision that as a cute little southern Baptist ministers daughter, I had never had before.  Her books influence my writing even today as I strive to achieve that incredible level of detail and continuity.

So.. there ya have it.  My brain recently.  Now that I got all this out, maybe it’ll be a bit less cluttered in there.  I needed some room to get some actual work done and some actual writing done.  I love my blog, but when I have a post in my head floating around, it takes up a LOT of space!

love as thou wilt,


New beginnings are not always easy.

Posted in BLARG!!!, Friends, Random shit, Ranting, Self indulgent Tripe with tags , , on June 9, 2011 by swinglizrd

I have been thinking a LOT recently about new beginnings.

For those of you who don’t know, Brandon and I recently declared bankruptcy.  We are going to be leaving South Carolina for the cooler clime of New Hampshire.  The past couple of years have been incredibly hard and depressing and I feel as if I have been beaten with a 2×4 and left to bleed.  Obviously the decision to declare bankruptcy was a hard one, and carefully thought about.  When the economy took a nosedive, Brandon lost his company that he owned and was out of work for quite some time.  We had been doing alright financially up to that point, you know buying a house, a couple of new cars, a motorcycle  ya know the american dream.


Now we are going to be on this new journey.  Its scary, and exciting, and sad, and hard, and all those emotions that I don’t like to admit to feeling.

I have several people in my life that are going through incredible life changing things as well.  Bankruptcies, moving, break ups, weddings…I just want to tell them that new beginnings are hard.  No matter if they are because of good things or bad, they. are. hard.   you will survive.  I will survive.  We have these incredible lives to live, new people to meet, other lives to change.  It doesn’t matter how old or young you are.  We are in a scary place.  But this scary place is full of new and exciting opportunities!  Just think about how many people and places we will meet and see!

So just tell all the bad things and people in your life to suck it! Surround yourself with positivity, creativity, and good energy!  We will make it!

*click on the picture.. it is hilarious when its full size!*

because we all need to be this happy!

Of what i am and what i have learned

Posted in Family, Friends, Random shit, Ranting, Self indulgent Tripe, Uncategorized on February 14, 2011 by swinglizrd

This post was started on my Birthday.  Sigh.. i have been wrestling with it ever since.

Today is my birthday.



I was born a mere 5 days after Reagan was installed in the White House.  I share my birthday with Oprah Winfrey.  I put my mother through 36 hours of labor before i finally made my debut in the world.  (I’m still not insanely great at being on time, but i try).

So, i came into this world to a family with both parents musicians, my father a minister of music in the Southern Baptist church, and my mother a music teacher.  Let it be said, i was not the “typical” rebellious ministers kid.  I think all in all i was a pretty good kid.  The most trouble i got into growing up, was when i slacked off at school.  I think i spent my whole 8th grade year grounded due to grades.  I hate school but LOVE learning.  I find that traditional schooling doesn’t allow people who think like me to really have much of a chance to get through without being labeled  under achievers , weirdos or oddballs.  I never really embraced my strangeness until my mid-twenties.  I have met a series of people who made me realize that what was strange or weird about me, was really what made me cool and fun.

I look back on my life up until now and see all these events (however small) that shaped me and my passions.  I have my hang ups and baggage (who doesn’t?) and i probably wont go into those now, but here is what i feel i am right now: (warning, selfishly examining myself… after all what are birthdays for?)

1.  I am a geek.  I say it a lot and i say it again. I AM GEEK!  i am not a girly girl.  I am not a tomboy either.  I find myself in the company of men more often due to my passions ie. video games, science fiction/fantasy, comic booky stuff.  Give me a bag of dice and 4 guys playing D&D over a group of gals watching a girl movie.  I do have girls that i care deeply about and even if i don’t talk to them as much as i/they would like, i still do deeply care. (I’m not very good at *social* stuff)  Along this line, i blame my father for this love of all things geeky.  When i was 10 years old we watched Terminator 2 together.  I will NEVER forget this because it really was one of the defining moments in forming this passion.  I was fascinated.  Time travel? Cyborgs? Blood and Guts??  Hoo boy.. i was never the same. (no but really, thanks Pop!)

2.  I am a person who is at times painfully empathetic and sensitive.  This makes me care incredibly deeply for people and makes me they type of person who tries to save everyone! This is one of my mothers contributions to my personality (Not a bad thing Ma! i promise!)  This rescuing/saving is not only people.  This extends to animals as well.  I cannot watch The humane society commercials (Donate Here ) with Sarah M. singing without bursting into tears.  I have rescued (or helped rescue) Lots of animals including; The Kitties- Squeak *RIP*, her daughter Freak *RIP, Squeak’s son Punk, Cher and her brood Tux, Hershey, Chihiro, Kikkio and then the loner Bloo.  The doggies Pippin and Koga plus random Pit Bulls in the neighborhood that i have helped to animal control or a shelter.  So thanks Ma for my rescuing ways.  I just have to learn control myself!!

3. I am someone who is prone to various neuroses (is that the plural of Neurosis?).  General Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Hypochondria, being a pain in my husbands ass.. oh wait…. I work very hard at keeping all of these things under control.  I am very open about all of these things, but when i am in the midst of a panic attack or a deep depression, the only person i really ever talk to about things is my husband.  Poor guy.  He is my grounding in reality.  I love all of my family and friends, but i don’t know what i would do with out dearest hubs.  He USUALLY (giggle) knows just what to say or do to make me laugh and pull me out of whatever is ailing me.  He laughs his cute little butt off at me when i think i have some rare form of disease and will die whilst bleeding out of my eyeballs.  *Gads i must be entertaining*.  He puts up with all my idiocy and i cant believe i got so lucky!

4.  I have been shaped and loved by incredible people who i will never forget no matter how far apart we are, and even if we dont ever talk or see each other you are all in my heart.  I am so lucky to have met and loved and laughed and cried with you (Monica, Jen, Ken, Robbie AKA “the Family” from college.  Todd you crazy mutha.  Luke and the Johnson family aka my second parents and brothers.  Daniel and Michael and Freya & all of the fabulous gorgeous men and women in the past few years.  My crazy Theater folk who are too numerous to name.  All the people from Tommy’s Interactive years ago.) you are all my heart.  And now it is full with reminiscences and love, and i thank you all for all of those great times!


So there you have it.  This damn post i have struggled with for a few weeks now.  Very self-indulgent and long (or at least it seems so to me).


love as thou wilt