Archive for the Funny Category

My Husband… The Ass.

Posted in Funny, Random shit, Ranting, Self indulgent Tripe, Wuv... TWUE Wuv with tags , , , on October 7, 2011 by swinglizrd

I love my husband.  He is sweet, funny, sexy as hell, and wonderful… BUT….

This morning as i said earlier on Twitter (@swinglizrd) I woke up with the song “Jenny From the Block” in my head.  I don’t know why or how this song intruded into my brain, I just know I needed to get it OUT.  Hubs was working on homework, so I suffered in silence for a while.  I tried to surf the interwebz to distract my traitor brain, to no avail.

Finally I say….

“ugh.. damn song stuck in my head.”

Hubs: “what song is that?”

me: “Jenny From the Block”

He laughs and continues to do what i THINK is homework…

a couple of minutes later I hear……… DUBSTEP REMIX OF “JENNY FROM THE BLOCK”.


We go on with our day, with him working on stuff and me hitting the market… a bit ago he decides to declare war by singing it to me from the other room… yeah. Ass.

My motto is “Love as thou wilt”, but hubby is PUSHING IT.



Random Movie monday…

Posted in Funny, Random shit with tags , , , on September 13, 2011 by swinglizrd

Watching: Dracula 2000

Best line- “NEVER EVER F@#$ with an antiques dealer!!!!!”

i love incredible, horrible, vampire movies. They make me happy.
love as thou wilt

Of Walmart adventures

Posted in Funny, Random shit, Ranting with tags , , , on June 14, 2011 by swinglizrd

Soooo we all know by now, liz’s aversion to Walmart.  Yeah, but here’s the thing.. It’s cheaper than regular grocery stores and markets, i can get more stuff there than i can at Aldi  and it is FULL of crazy wacky adventure type things happening.  It ‘s fodder for my imagination, even when i complain about it, it gets my juices pumping… (no… DO not say it… ).


Today was no exception.  I wasnt in a really big hurry today, just lost in thoughts and walking around looking at the $8 Blu-Rays,  seeing if they had anything interesting as far as nail color is  concerned.. you know just browsing around.  I finally start to take care of business and go to pick up the cat food that i need.  I’m standing in the cat food isle and i get distracted by twitter. (@swinglizrd follow me! )  I’m reading a tweet by someone, and this very tall African American gentleman walks up to my cart.

“How you doin’ girl?”

*i smile because i am nice to everybody*

“I’m good how are you?”

“Why dont you let me take you out on a date?”

……………………………………….. My mouth proceeds to drop open.

“i’m sorry, What?”  *polite Liz is Polite*

“I said why dont you let me take you out to dinner”  He then smiles confidently- almsot daring me to say no.

“Well thank you, but i’m married”

“Girl you are too young to be married”

I show him my ring, and he is a little shocked i guess… He says “oh well” and proceeds to walk away without any further conversation.  I stood in that isle for a couple of minutes trying not to laugh my ass off.  all the while thinking “White girl still got it…..”  In situations like that, i always wish my wit would shine through, but all i ever get in my brain is polite answers.  I suppose its the sweet *ahem* little southern girl in me.

and again... Hubs... yup guys sorry, thats him...