Archive for Funny

Ahhh…. Abdominal pain.

Posted in BLARG!!!, Poor Poor Liz, Ranting, Self indulgent Tripe with tags , , , , on October 13, 2011 by swinglizrd

Sooooo… What a week so far…

It started on Sunday afternoon.  I ate lunch, a yummy chicken gyro type flatbread.  It had a balsamic chicken, lettuce, cucumber, a bit of garlic aoli and a drizzle of fattoush dressing.  YumO.

A bit after that I started feeling some, what I thought, was indigestion.  I thought it was just a pretty bad case of it and took some acid reducer and tried to just drink water.  The pain continued and got worse over the course of the night and by Monday morning I figured I should try to go to the Dr.  So that was *Count voice* “ONE… ONE SLEEPLESS NIGHT, ah ah… “.  There wasnt an appointment until the next day, so I decided to wait rather than go to “Doc in the Box”.  I figured if things got bad I would head to the ER or call the ambulance.  All day Monday all I had to “eat” was a glass of V8 Fruit Fusion *yum*, and a glass of Chocolate Lactaid *yum again*.  I had so much pressure and bloating in my abdomen with waves of gnawing pain I did NOT want to put anything else in there.  So I just tried to stay hydrated.  The pain came and went and my belly was not feeling good at all.

*Here is where I tell you a bit more about my anxieties.  As I have mentioned before, I am a hypochondriac.  Hypochondriac+internet+time along= TOO much self diagnosis.  I decided that it was probably had appendicitis and I was going to end up the next day having to go immediately to the hospital for emergency surgery.  Point number 2 in my crazy,  I have a phobia of hospitals and especially me possibly having to submit to treatment in said hospitals.  I have so far in my life never had any type of surgery or even had to stay overnight in a hospital.  I’m lucky I know, and when I eventually get prego, i will be in therapy getting through THAT phobia.*

ANYWHO, back to Monday.

All day Monday I am trying to get things ready to go on our vacation for which we were supposed to leave on Thursday (we postponed…).  Trying to do laundry get some cleaning done and all with pretty damn bad abdominal pain.  I finally give up and just sit on my ass and watch tv…   try to go to bed, but… very little sleep occurs *cue the Count*  TWO… TWO sleepless nights… AHAHAHA! (The Count might die soon.. just sayin…)

I “wake up” on Tuesday morning and take care of pups and  feeling less pain and just a lot of discomfort and bloating.  The pain surfaces every so often as painful hunger pangs and my anxiety is still pretty high.  I’ve been feeling a bit of nausea but no vomiting.  Sooo.. My mom comes and picks me up for my appointment.  I was so tired by this point I didn’t trust myself to drive.

Pretty standard scene in the office.  The Dr. pokes around my belly, asks me the questions and I’m doing my best to explain how I’m feeling… “Ok Liz.. Its one of 2 things… an ulcer or Gallstones”…. The dreaded G word.  Hypochondriacs know in advance the options that will probably be offered them.  Here is the thing, gallstones are not like kidney stones.. you do not pass gallstones. You have to have…………………………………………………………………………… Surgery.

Of course the freaking out immediately starts in my head… The dr proceeds to want to schedule an Ultrasound for the next day… Ok never had one.. whatever… ack…

*BANG* (sorry just shot The Count)  Cue ANOTHER sleepless night.

Wed. Morning 10am… Ultrasound place.

Yeah that is one uncomfortable experience.  When you have pressure already in your belly area, and the tech is pressing really hard over everything including your ribs (sore today still) it is not a fun time.

So throughout all that my brain has gone from appendicitis to gallstones and of course the dreaded cancer idea popped into my traitorous brain.  I head home to await the results of the test, as the doc said she would put a rush on them. *love my doc BTW*

A few hours later and I’m making my tiny bland lunch (oh yeah, by this time I have had VERY little to eat… ) Doc calls and says “NO GALLSTONES!” (read NO SURGERY!).  So she tells me to take the Prilosec twice a day and be careful with my eating… No caffeine *not too hard for me* , No Alcohol *yeah… a BIT harder*… No spicy or over acidic… blah blah blah….

By this time i am exhausted and still in discomfort.  I call hubby and we cancel the trip until after my check up in 2 weeks.  I feel horrible about not going, but feeling so incredibly tired, ill, and emotionally drained.  Luckily we were planning on driving so no airline tickets lost.

So,  If anyone knows any good recipes or has any tips on living with an ulcer, please let me know!  I’m scouring the interwebz and not finding much help with specific ideas and recipes.  It’s all just what to avoid.. UGH!

So thanks to all who were thinking of me and praying for me.

Love as thou wilt,

Liz

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Random Movie monday…

Posted in Funny, Random shit with tags , , , on September 13, 2011 by swinglizrd

Watching: Dracula 2000

Best line- “NEVER EVER F@#$ with an antiques dealer!!!!!”

i love incredible, horrible, vampire movies. They make me happy.
love as thou wilt
liz

Of Walmart adventures

Posted in Funny, Random shit, Ranting with tags , , , on June 14, 2011 by swinglizrd

Soooo we all know by now, liz’s aversion to Walmart.  Yeah, but here’s the thing.. It’s cheaper than regular grocery stores and markets, i can get more stuff there than i can at Aldi  and it is FULL of crazy wacky adventure type things happening.  It ‘s fodder for my imagination, even when i complain about it, it gets my juices pumping… (no… DO not say it… ).

ANY-WHO-

Today was no exception.  I wasnt in a really big hurry today, just lost in thoughts and walking around looking at the $8 Blu-Rays,  seeing if they had anything interesting as far as nail color is  concerned.. you know just browsing around.  I finally start to take care of business and go to pick up the cat food that i need.  I’m standing in the cat food isle and i get distracted by twitter. (@swinglizrd follow me! )  I’m reading a tweet by someone, and this very tall African American gentleman walks up to my cart.

“How you doin’ girl?”

*i smile because i am nice to everybody*

“I’m good how are you?”

“Why dont you let me take you out on a date?”

……………………………………….. My mouth proceeds to drop open.

“i’m sorry, What?”  *polite Liz is Polite*

“I said why dont you let me take you out to dinner”  He then smiles confidently- almsot daring me to say no.

“Well thank you, but i’m married”

“Girl you are too young to be married”

I show him my ring, and he is a little shocked i guess… He says “oh well” and proceeds to walk away without any further conversation.  I stood in that isle for a couple of minutes trying not to laugh my ass off.  all the while thinking “White girl still got it…..”  In situations like that, i always wish my wit would shine through, but all i ever get in my brain is polite answers.  I suppose its the sweet *ahem* little southern girl in me.

and again... Hubs... yup guys sorry, thats him...